So in an earlier post I mentioned that I had been doing Zumba 3 days a week before my delivery. I had such an easy delivery because I was trying to be fit. I am so grateful for that. There is a group that meets for free Zumba Monday, Wednesday and Friday near where I live. The ladies that teach there are so wonderful and super sweet. I love coming here because it is an environment where so there are so many different levels of fitness in the group so you don’t feel out of place when you don’t know what you are doing.
After delivering my little Anthony I wasn’t able to get back into my exercise as easily. One reason was because we didn’t have a car that would fit all of my kids and the second reason (which is why I am writing this post) is that my Postpartum depression was preventing me from going and I will explain more why.
The first reason is because being in large crowds caused me to have very strong anxiety. On Halloween, our fitness group was doing a super fun Halloween themed Zumba party. Costumes were encouraged and there was going to be prizes. As you can imagine the crowd was huge at least it seemed that way to me. This is the first time I have been back in a long time. I felt it was so exciting to be able to get back and do some exercise that I love and get my body back in shape. There was an internal battle going on inside my head. I felt an overwhelming joy and a job well done inside for going out and doing something for me, and on the flip side I felt a crushing anxiety of being around so many people and worry that I didn’t know the dances very well. I think I had tears on the edge of spilling over the entire time I worked out that day. Good thing the lights were dimmed.
I had to push myself to ignore the negative feelings welling up inside myself and I forced the positive in my mind. I wanted to love myself that day and be proud of being able to do something for myself that day. My 3-year-old can be super emotional and dramatic (because she is just like her mother!) and was laying on the floor crying the entire time while my 3-month-old watched everyone dace with excited eyes until he fell asleep. This didn’t help my conflicted feelings at all. I going to keep at it through. I know the exercise is important for my body! It has been proven that those who get exercise on a regular basis will gain a positive self-image and increased sex drive (oh darn!) haha. What do you enjoy doing for exercise? Where do you go to get your work out on?
P.S. When I was diagnosed by my doctor I tried to do some research and found this website very helpful. It gives ideas for spouses to help their wives with depression and gave a lot of very helpful and specific tips on how to help you identify and treat PPD.