I have postpartum depression

family

anthony

I recently gave birth to baby number four. My wonderful, sweet baby boy Anthony. I love him so much. Of all of my deliveries this is the first I have had to deal with postpartum depression. My pregnancy was super easy in fact it was the healthiest I have ever been. I was doing Zumba 3 days a week and eating really healthy since I really didn’t want any sugar with this pregnancy. My delivery was just as easy. After church on Sunday I took a nap after eating lunch and woke up to my water breaking at 5pm and delivered him with no complications at 9:30 with no complications. Super easy and fast delivery.

My family and I are currently living with my bother and sister in law’s family. I love them so much and they have been such a help with my other 3 kids after my delivery. I am so grateful for them. They know me pretty well, but I am not sure if they know my struggles.

I am a very strong, independent person. I don’t like to bother or burden other people and I thrive on being able to figure out things and do things on my own. So, you can imagine why this journey through my postpartum depression would be especially hard because I knew I needed help.

My husband recognized my postpartum depression way before I realized there was something wrong with me. Yes there is normal baby blues, but those usually don’t last very long. This was lasting a lot longer. And I was not acting myself and my husband could tell that something was off.

It wasn’t too much after that I had a super low day and broke down and cried in my room all day. I felt like a failure as a mother, I felt like a terrible wife and I felt so broken. I recently got an IUD as birth control and I wasn’t sure if my severe mood swings were related to my new birth control that I have never tried before. I called my OBGYN and he said that I was not related to my IUD. In fact, the IUD released such a low level of hormones and it is kept within the uterus that it wouldn’t affect the rest of my body. I also took time to explain my mood swings and how I was feeling anxiety. He then diagnosed me with postpartum depression.

As a tool for myself and also a possible way to help others I wanted to record my journey through my difficulties and triumphs. Come back to see more of the story…have you ever had PPD? What worked for you?

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