Dark Days

Everyone has dark days. The trick is figuring out what is the trigger and knowing how to handle those situations. One of the main triggers I have found was huge crowds. This weekend we had some family in town to visit. I love being with family and it was really relaxing and enjoyable for the first while but soon it grew to be overwhelming. I had a really hard time enjoying be able to be around people and I wanted to enjoy the time that I was going to have with my family. I had to find time for myself.  I tried retreating up to my bedroom where it was guaranteed to be calm and quiet, but even going there it felt like my own 4 walls were closing in. I couldn’t breath and I felt the anxiety bubbling over. I couldn’t handle being around so many people.

I was concerned that my IUD was causing my depression at first considering I have heard a lot of people telling me that once they had their IUD removed that their depression dissipated. I talked to my doctor (which I really love my doctor) about that thought and concern during an appointment about my postpartum depression. She was very open about the concern and said that it is pretty common, but one indication that this isn’t the cause of my PPD is because I had some anxiety attacks before having the IUD placed.

With help from my doctor we are working towards counseling. I decided on counseling because it will provide me with a place to vent and also a person from whom I can receive tools to help me in my life situation. My doctor mentioned that it can take up to 4 weeks for any medication I might take to kick in. Another reason I decided not to go with the route of medication is because of how it effects people.

The best way to describe it is with person A and person B.

Person A has a constantly low mood and seldom has highs. The medication would raise the level of Serotonin so it would raise the base line of person A’s mood. Very helpful.

a-person-on-med

Person B has highs and lows and experiences severe mood swings. If person B is on medication to raise the base line of levels of serotonin the lows wouldn’t be as low but the highs would also not be as high. Some people have complained that it makes them feel emotionless and like they don’t care about anything at all.

b-person-on-med

If I am honest about how I am feeling I am more along the lines of person B than person A, so being on medication would not be as helpful with my personal situation. BUT it doesn’t mean that it isn’t a good fit for other people. Be honest with how you are feeling and evaluate when you need. Your doctor could be a big help too. There were questions that my doctor asked that I didn’t even think about before.

I am looking forward to starting my counseling and receiving tools I might need to help me get through my anxiety and mood swings.

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